One of the worst kinds of people you or anybody can date is a narcissist. While they might have many good attributes, their overall narcissistic personality overshadows and takes over their entire appeal. Thus, you should not be surprised if you have ever wondered how to make a narcissist miserable. After all, we bet they made your life hell.
Nonetheless, if you have never dated a narcissist and are wondering how to identify one, we are here to help you. In this article, we will discuss the prominent 10 signs you will notice if your partner happens to be a narcissist. If that is the case, we must encourage you to pack up and leave immediately.
10 Signs You’re Dating A Narcissist
When you have an active dating life, you cannot avoid some shady characters. It is almost unavoidable. Unfortunately, we all have at least dated one sketchy person who took more than they were willing to give in the relationship. Making bad decisions while dating is a learning experience.
Therefore, perhaps, your poor decision could be dating a narcissist. Now, let us inform you all about recognizing signs – or red flags – that your beau is all about themselves, and you are simply the sidekick in your own story.
1. It’s All About Them
Did you ever meet somebody who loves to talk about themselves? Is every conversation at every table is about their achievements, their struggles, and their life? Somebody, who constantly hogs attention, and somehow can turn every conversation about them?
Rings a bell? Is it your partner? If so, we are saddened to inform you, your partner is a narcissist. Because making it all about them is the first sign of a narcissist.
These people cannot simply get enough of themselves because they are self-centric and egocentric. They do not care to know you or even care for you. That’s a bitter pill to swallow, but it’s the truth.
2. Reputation Is A Priority
Another easy sign to spot a narcissist is via their obsession with their image and reputation in front of others. They will go to extreme lengths to ensure they look perfect appearance-wise and that they present a picture-perfect version of their lives.
Most of the time, it is all an intricate web of lies. And if you are dating a narcissist, you will inevitably drag into that web.
They will make sure you go along with their make-believe stories. You will need to show the world your relationship with them, their jobs, societal status, etc.; every little detail of your partner’s life is precisely the way they want to display.
3. Gets High On Validation
Keeping in mind the previous point, they care so much about the public image because they like being complimented and receiving validation. To put it simply, they get off on validation. This is a big sign of how insecure they really are about themselves deep inside.
So, if you constantly need to give unnecessary validation to your partner, maybe it is time to wonder if you really want to be with them.
4. Plays The Victim Card
One of the easiest ways to recognize a narcissist is through their favorite card game, i.e., the victim card. It is practically their favorite pass time. They always have a victim card up their sleeves. The minute they realize a situation is going out of their hands or can no longer control, they will act like the victim.
They will turn the entire table and situation and make it all about them. For instance, if you and your narcissist partner argue about something they did, they will soon make it all about you. They will manipulate the story to make you believe their wrongdoings were incidental because of something you did or said.
Bottom line: Because of you, they took a wrong decision or said something hurtful, i.e., you’re the villain.
5. No Sense Of Reliability
They are the most unreliable people you will come across in a lifetime. This means their words do not match their actions. They might tell you they want to do this or that for you, or even something as simple as calling you at any given time on a certain day. However, nine out of ten times, they will not follow through.
And when you raise the issue, they will come up with an excuse so good that you will forgive them and let it go. This will be a behavioral pattern. And no, you can’t change it!
6. Manipulation 201
The manipulation game narcissists wield is of the most advanced level. Until much later, you will not even realize they are manipulating you – including your thoughts, actions, attitudes, etc. They will use your weakness to their advantage and make sure you are wrapped around their little finger.
7. The Isolation Game
One of the ways they manipulate is by playing the isolation game with you. There are different levels to this game; we will inform you about the primary two. The first thing they will do once you learn to trust them is to isolate you. They will plant the seeds in your mind in a way that you will believe all of it was your idea.
You will cut out your friends and family, quit your job, give over any financial freedom, etc. So by the time you realize how messed up your partner is, you will find yourself alone except for your partner as a company. After all, they are the only ones who stayed, right?
Another isolation game they tend to play is the silent treatment. If you don’t do something as they want, they will give you the silent treatment. To a point, it will drive you crazy.
8. Empathy Is A Myth
They will be cold and immune to your emotions and needs. You will not have a safe space in the relationship to exercise or express your thoughts, opinions, feelings, etc. If you expect any sympathy or empathy from them, you may have to wait forever.
9. Always On Edge
They will always keep you on edge – not in a good way. You will find yourself constantly having second thoughts about your own decisions, overthinking every single word or action, and so on. Anxiety will become your new best friend.
They benefit from this because you will eventually turn to them for every little thing. It is a power game.
10. You’re A Plaything
Lastly, you will be a plaything for them. They will have their claws deep in you and pull the strings as they please. Somedays they will shower you with all the love and attention, and other days they will discard you to the side.
You will never be enough for them. They will always find something to pick on and make you as miserable as possible.
Final Thoughts
What have you realized after reading the piece above? Do you think you’re dating a narcissist? If not, we are happy for you. If yes, we suggest you break it off as soon as possible and run the other way. If you think you can take them up as a project and fix them, trust us, you can’t.
You cannot change or help somebody who doesn’t want to, and we assure you narcissists believe they are the epitome of perfection. You do not deserve to be with someone who wants to change you, doesn’t support and love you, and makes you miserable in every possible you.
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